s o m e t i m e s . . .

sometimes

i wake up

at night

alone

scared

and missing you

craving your touch

craving you

but only

sometimes

often i go back and forth

between liking you

and hoping you fall off the face of the Earth

other times i'm somewhere in the middle

and that makes sense to me

because i never had you

so how could i have lost you

thats what i think

but only sometimes

i miss being able

to want you

i miss us hiding the truth

but showing each other flashes

of it

i miss knowing

my positioning with you

i miss you

but only

sometimes

i'm sorry that it wasn't supposed

to happen

i'm sorry i didn't see

why

it wouldn't work

i'm sorry

i pushed you

but only

sometimes

i don't talk because

everything i want

to say

i know i can't

but i still wish

i could say it anyway

i want to talk

really talk

to you

but only

sometimes

did you know

that i imagine

a reality

where

neither of us

is scared

neither of us

is confused by

the other

but also

neither of us

wants the other

but only

sometimes

i still have hope

that what fell apart

never really did

just cracks waiting

to be filled

by having

the other one

i wonder if you

think about that too

but only

sometimes