No Swim Zone

When I explain my mental health to people I explain the ocean. I have days where the water is calm and I walk along the sandy beaches letting the smell of salt fill my nostrils and sun warm my skin. I have days with small waves that knock me down but I can still get back up and keep doing. Then I have my days when the waves over take me. Dragging me deeper and deeper into the unknown black abyss that tricks me into feeling warm and safe and causes me to stop fighting because everything around me is too heavy, my lungs are filling up with liquid. Everything becomes numb. I continue to sink to numb to fight my way back up. These days are so overwhelming and I drown on the days. Everyone tells me

"It's okay"

"You'll make it through it"

"Stay positive"

Dont tell me that. On the days that I drown, don't hand me floaties that'll only hold me afloat till the air runs out.

Teach me how to swim.