being sad isn’t me crying all the time

it’s my room being messy

wearing my work shirt for two weeks straight without washing

my makeup powders open and spilt

mugs in every corner

it’s cancelling on friends but desparate enough to arrange a doctor’s appointment

and not turning up to it

it’s not brushing your teeth before you go to sleep

for five days

not washing your hair but the only time you brush your teeth is in the shower?

but at least you can send the cv’s for jobs you won’t attend the interview for

starting books you know you won’t finish

but maybe the whole point isn’t in finishing, maybe it’s about starting