Why?

Alcoholism is not what I knew

I only found out once I grew

in the background, so black and blue

we still suffered, thanks to you

As a child, she said she couldn’t do it

said she had a hard life and that I knew it

but she was the world to me and she blew it

stuck a knife in me and left me to fail through it

Running from my life, every night was a challenge

my life was so chaotic and unbalanced

trying to live day to day, micromanaged

ending my life, ill and deeply damaged

drowning in the sea of freedom and lavish

This precise script of mine, I need to revise

it’s like everyone is telling me lies

is it really all thorns in Gods eyes

or is my surprise imagination becoming real life

this too shall be finalized

how many more bodies need to be paralyzed

abolishing the mind to be hypnotized

how hard is it to really sympathize

except when your lonely and traumatized

Lord I feel you watching by

as I sit by my window and cry

I know your going to judge me someday

I just don’t know what to say

as these demons infest my brain

why did you make me this way?

why did you make me anyway?

Why am I still here today?

-h.b. Woods