Before I Broke

You walk within walls as a freak of flesh

Never once, did I relate to you in visceral mesh

Who will I ever tell? Whoever it may be

That I used to wake up crying from this memory

Unknowingly, I seduced a beast

An understatement, to say the least

The anguish is deep in my soul

To shatter it was your only goal

Your heart is carved of arctic stone

That’s how you made me feel lost & alone

You took my innocence & feeling of safety

My ability to trust and changed my intimacy

I ink my scars with a ballpoint pen

Get over it? I still don’t know when

At three, zero, zero, you made up your mind

An action that forgiveness will never find

You tore me apart for your own joy

Broke me down, throwing me just like a toy

You had one too many drinks that night

These are the words I feared to write

You pulled the covers over and whispered in my ears

Never caring how made me feel, it appears

I believed your lies and the love you pretended to share

As the last person left, I thought you did care

I want to believe that things will get better

Because all you are to me, is a dead letter

I may stumble, fall and have all my flaws

But it’s better than being held in your jaws

You will never know all the nights I cried

All the dreams I had, hoping you had died

It only took one time and that single kiss

For what it’s worth, that, I will never miss