expect

there’s little in the way of culture on the small island

but what it lacks in big city pizzazz

it makes up for in nature

as the crashing waves break against soft white sands

the families are all high-enders of course

and I'm just here

a freeloader in their eyes

a bum who doesn't go to the same gym as them

I still have my friends

like now, hanging out around the fire

as cold air blows in from the north

and lands against the pitch black gulf

in proper form

I tell them stories of my travels

but at the same time

I soak up their presence as well

the dark blue and black flannel

light washed denim torn in the right places

anklets sparkling like the embers in the fire

and soft blue eyes beneath waves of midnight colored hair

soft smiles appear as I near the end of my story

there some chuckles

some whispers

and soft kisses

I feel happy as my story ends

and everyone gets up to leave

calling it a night

half drunk, half not drunk

I say I'm going to stay for a minute

before I head back to the house I'm staying in

and everyone leaves

accept for him and his soft blue eyes

he gets up to come sit next to me

he tells me he liked my story

I say thanks and we are silent

for as long as we can be

before he leans in

and I back up, unprepared

he stops, eyes half-closed

and we just stare at each other for a minute

"so then, you don't like guys"

"no, that's not it"

"then what's wrong?"

"I don't know"

and I tell him

about how every stop I make

every time I decide to stay

someone falls for me

and I'm not sure I can keep doing it

because I believe that love

or at least, part of the entire concept,

is your dedication to someone

and I can't keep loving

not without knowing

that I can dedicate my heart

to the one who loves me

"but not everyone needs that"

he says, "but if you find that you do,

why do you keep moving?"

and he leans next to me

I place an arm around his shoulders

pull him close and say,

"I don't know, I guess I just never expected this to happen."

"what did you expect to happen?"

and that's just it, because I didn't expect