Generosity, I Didn’t Do It

I didn't do it, but you, officer, don't care.

I didn't do it, please don't touch my butt when you cuff,

my hands.

Behind my back.

"Please, please don't do it."

I didn't do it.

Why won't that man in the next cell stop making

Those noises like he's pressing it into someone

Against her will

I think he is on drugs.

"There is nothing we can do."

They say.

But I didn't do it.

All I hear is, "There is no way we can care."

Suddenly, so suddenly,

As I am recounting my heroin tales,

I recall,

That I once sold myself,

My sex, more aptly,

For a cellphone.

And I shook and I cried.

Worst of all,

I was almost certain at the time,

That in no way did I deserve that cell phone.

They, I thought, were being overly generous with me.

"But he gave you a cell phone,"

Amanda's words still ring in my ears.

Her words,still break my heart.

My friend.

Sometimes.

And worst of all,

Or in my experience,

redemptively,

I am not a bad lay.

And worst of all,

The cell phone...

It was a loan.

I paid interest in Hep C and chlamydia.

I didn't even get to keep the cell phone.

Worst of all,

And I swear this is it,

It completely slipped my mind that I once had sex with a middle aged, married man because he "gifted" me a cellphone.

Thank you, man.

How could I ever

have forgotten

your generosity?