I forgive you

I wonder what races through your thoughts

when you hear my name.

Do you think of all the good times,

or maybe the ones where I was vulnerable?

Perhaps there's an emptiness,

or a longing hatred that you can't seem to numb.

But when I think of you, I frustrate over the past

my anger begins to coil

my thoughts begin to churn

For it is you who hurt me

and I don't think you'll ever learn.

6 months ago seems far like the horizon,

I'm not the naive girl I used to be.

I've changed since that cold Autumn day

the day where my world of dreams

and fantasies caved.

The day where you managed

to break me to a point of insanity;

unleashing the dark demons

within me.

No words of love, no encouragement;

your ignorance coated words

drove my insecurities.

Why was it that everything

lead back to you?

I wanted to forget, find

my peace and closure.

But how could I,

when your darkness echoed

in my times of doubt.

I've hurt, I've cried endless tears

over my wounds -

my scars are still here to prove

my fight against people

like you.

Through hell and back,

within the flames of regrets, pain -

through the battle that was meant

to burn me.

Through this all,

I forgive you.