I’m getting better

“I’m getting better”

I tell myself while doing the dishes

Thinking how easy it would be to grab the wrong side of the knife.

“I’m getting better”

I tell myself while walking around the house

Forcing myself not to grab my moms clips and smoke them all.

“I’m getting better”

I tell myself when I feel urges of anger

Because the day is good and my feelings are fucked up.

“I’m getting better”

I tell myself while taking a shower

And seeing my scars.

“I’m getting better”

I tell myself when I hear another girl got pregnant

Because I wouldn’t have been a good mother

Twice.

“I’m getting better”

I tell myself when I see another beautiful girl

And I know will never be like her.

“I’ll be okay.”

I tell myself when I almost react to all the negative

And I don’t.

“I’m okay.”