Dear Payn,

I never really felt your hurt as a child. I was sheltered from your dark vaccum by my parents' iron backs and strong sholders. Your red-hot, scorching needles barely touched me. However, I couldn’t avoid your harsh, soul-sucking invisible limbs forever. Slowly, surely, I fought my parents to be released to your torture. I needed to feel it.

You don’t care about my safety or my health. All you do is make me feel like I am dying.

The truth is, I could die from the inflicting horror you give me. I could end it all just to ease this feeling of misery.

I can’t sleep when you are here. I won’t eat if you are here. I should try to leave you.

But, we both know you hold the strings that physically and mentally bind me.

I never will be truly free until joy comes back around.

Sincerly,

A Forever Trapped Soul