Self-Portrait

Brick by brick the wall is built.

A fortess of misfortune.

A single window with a single view.

Shadows of sunshine my only company.

Will I be trapped by this sensitive heart...

forever chained by chaos,

imprisoned by empathy?

Does the rage ever cease to consume me

in my solitude?

I channel it,

this poisonous self-pity, and I become

a blacksmith.

I forge armor from it

to protect myself.

I am fierce because I survive.

But,

what good is survival if there’s no living

waiting for me on the other side?

I truimph and yet, I lose.

There is always a war within me,

no peace, only retreat.

I have too much pride to

surrender.

No voice to beg mercy.

I trust no one

and I fear

I never will.

I am vulnerable.

I am the undefeated champion

of passive rage.

Below the surface is glass.

Splintered.

Shattered.

Fragile.

and over that glass is an impenetrable

substance.

in between is my salvation.