Brave

Anything, huh? Here goes:

I mean it this time. I love him, and it hurts.

I want to be close to him.

I want to have one good thing without buts.

"I really care about you, but-"

"I want to be with you, but-"

"I'm in love with you, but-"

He deserves so much more than I can give him.

He deserves someone who can

chase his bad feelings away at any given moment,

and I can't do that from 1000 miles away.

I keep writing sad poems for him,

hoping they'll chase him away,

but he just loves me harder.

He deserves better than me.

Blanket forts.

He poured his drunk little heart out

and I told him I wish I was there

so we could drink and make stupid blanket forts together.

I love him.

How do I tell him that I love him?

I already have.

How do I stop loving him?

How do I love him even more?

He makes me want to tell my family all the secrets I've been keeping,

which I won't do,

but how does he make me feel so brave?