Thoughts

"I know what you're thinking from before you even thought it."

"Oh yeah? Well I bet you didn't think that yesterday I planned to think what I knew you'd think I thought."

"No, I didn't think..."

"ha!"

"-because you don't have to think about what you knew all along."

"You couldn't-"

"Oh but I did."

"nyooo"

"Oh yes! that day you bought that sandwich, and planned to eat it for today; I was there"

"No way"

"Yes way. When you thought to think this thought yesterday - at precisely 4:02 AM; I was there."

"The horror!"

"And while you bit into the sandwich that you pre-thought to bite into, a mere 47 seconds ago. I was standing... right here."

"Oh the humanity!"

"Now weep in your misery, as I bask in my victory!"

"Meh heh heh!"

"What?"

"MUHAHAHAHAAAaa"

"What's so funny?"

"This was all part of my master plan."

"Your what!?!"

"That's right. I knew you'd think that you knew what I was going to pretend to plan to think at precisely 4:02AM, I knew you were there when I bought that sandwich, I knew you'd be standing right here to try and unravel a plan that was simply part of a much bigger plan."

"No, how could- *stressed panting* When- when did you find out?!"

"From before you were born... These last few days... were planned out... before you were even born."

"but that- that's not possible!"

"It is."

"How?"

"Because-"

-intense silence-

"-I. AM. YOUR. MOTHER!!!!"

"This can't beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"