How To Love Someone

Every time she leaves the house

You cower in fear

You hold your breath until

The moment she comes home

Every time she says she wants to be alone

You shake with anxiety

Knowing she is hiding the blade

Waiting quietly to use it

Every time she does not pick up the phone

The restless apprehension sets in

Is she dead?

Lying under the tracks of a train?

Every time she takes her pills

You watch to make sure she swallows

You don’t want her saving them up

For a rainy day

You have nightmares

Where you wake up in distress

And double check that she is still breathing

Beside you

You cannot hold her hand

You cannot put her in bubble wrap

And pray she stays whole

You cannot save her

From the demons in her head

Summoning her down into purgatory

You can hold her hand while she cries

Tell her everything will be okay

Even when you’re not sure if that’s true

You sit by the phone

And wait for the call that will one-day come

“I’m sorry for your loss, ma’am”

You can try as hard as you can

Do everything in your power

But you cannot save her