Necessary Handy Accoutrement To Hitch Hike

this twice or thrice-told tale

twas da dumbest deed done 

   during dis dada das

days of bachelorhood 

   about 2 plus score years ago.

right-hand thumb thrust out 

   cocked at the proper angle

   closely approximating upper case ell shape

      approximately ninety degrees borne aloft

bent elbow held firmly so as to limply dangle

    while whoosh of traffic tingled 

   uncertainty against the nape

        of the neck - praying 4 sympathetic driver 

   to pull over on gravel that doth jangle

odyssey filed in the memory bank

   although personal ordeal occurred decades ago

      sketchy details not totally erased 

   but writ small sans live free or die

thoughts conjured up general details 

   to be perfectly frank

   this hot diggity dog began in the granite state, 

   where glaciers stopped their flow

   yet even at the get-go 

   this once upon a time bummer felt the wild call

to test my pliable steely

ironic lightweight mettle

   by casting fate to accept rides risqué

king mein Kempf life with strangers from point “A”

   constituting the then hamlet 

   of Hancock, New Hampshire

Europeans who emigrated did originally settle

   adopting place names from homeland 

   sans to keep insecurity at bay

      concocting legends in pristine Americas 

   akin to Hansel and Gretel

whose perilous situation 

   and the dangerous plight

   I can understand putting 

   former youthful self at risk

      pinning this fool would rush in 

   where angels fear tireless lee tread

yet nonchalantly and blithely 

   casting flesh line before the edge of night

      eclipsed me in a shroud of darkness 

   envisioning mirages of a comfy bed

         aside from growing fatigue 

   creeping fear this guy needed to fight

so vamoose to you

   now, zero miles from the twilight zone

   and sanity told to shove off to lake woebegone

      as first lift took place

drove me quite some distance 

   about one state south like the Canadian goose

      boosting morale shortening distance 

   to home base with pros and con

         the feeling I overstayed and wore out 

   the Scottish tartan welcome mat 

   and ever-tightening noose

thus reconsidered cavalier take devil 

   to the hindmost attitude

when one African American dude

offered a ride, yet who appeared 

   drunk o wren schizophrenic mood

demanding I take hold of the steering wheel 

   while on George Washington Bridge

   uttering threatening epithets hostile and rude.