A Million Shades of Grey

I stare at my canvas

as blank as my life

open

empty

I look at the paint I was given

it is too boisterous

colorful

loud

I don't like paint

so I take a deep breath

and I pull out of my pocket

my trusty dixon ticonderoga #2 pencil

the one I use every day

and I sigh

then I turn to face the blank, empty chaos of nothingness

each open molecule of space crying to be used

and so I do

I doodle

I make people

and fairy tales come to life

my borrowed paintbrushes sit, unused

gathering dust as I work with my pencil

I fill my empty life with everything

but no colors

my doodles aren't anything special

stick people, really

the occasional well-drawn details

but they tell countless stories

and I fill them all

all the emptyness

with the lives of my belovedly carefree thoughts

and they each have a story

but no colors

and

in the center of the page

I draw my pencil

because what I really love

is the beautiful chaos that my pencil has created

in a million shades of grey.