And God said “Let there be light,” and there was football

American football is the sport of kings. Never before has one sport drawn together the identity and camaraderie of an entire sovereign nation. Football -- what we call "soccer" in the U.S. -- may have the most widespread fanbase on a worldwide scale, but our nation's football is a beast of our own creation, and we like it that way.

To play football is to prove to oneself that he is of a special breed, made by God to stand out from the rest. Anybody can run. Anybody can throw. Anybody can catch. Anybody can throw themselves into somebody else.

But football is, again, the sport of kings. Kings can do these things as well as paupers can. So how do we separate kings from paupers? It's simple, really. Paupers can do all of the things listed above. Kings do these things with style. With finesse. Kings do these things a thousand times on end and still make them look easy.