Hell Will be his Home

Remembering my life more than 10 years ago is hard

Its emotional.

My father beat me, my father abused me

He got me addicted to substance, he made me lose taste in certain foods.

He never taught me to defend myself

He never taught me how to love.

At 6 he left.

He was gone, nowhere to be found.

2 years ago my mom ran into him at the store

He gave her his phone number and I saw it.

I wrote it down, put it in my phone, and tried to call.

I clicked the call button, waited a second, and hung up.

I couldnt call him, the one who donated sperm for my existance.

The man who made me feel worthless before anyone else could have the chance.

The man who punched my moms stomach while I was in it.

The man who wanted me gone.

Fathers day 2015 came along, I said fuck it.

We drove to the apartment he lives in.

I knocked on the door.

I heard him lock the door.

He locked the door on his own fucking son.

I wanted to say hi, but after I heard that I gave up.

I got a job at this restaurant, McAlisters.

He worked there but I didnt know he did.

I didnt recognize him, he didnt recognize me.

But then it hit me after a manager asked me about him.

I texted him, I asked why he did this to me.

Why he was such a shit father.

Why he left.

Why he beat me.

Why he got me addicted.

Why he tortured me.

Why he was who he was.

I got one single answer.

"What are you talking about?"

I encountered him at work.

He still didnt know who I was.

I quit my job that day.

"Manny?" I said

"Yeah?" he responded

"Its your son, im your son. Fuck you. Go to Hell."

And like a boss, I walked out.

Havent talked to him since

But I fear one day I might be like him

But nothing could be worse than that piece of shit.