The Lies I Told Her

When I first spoke I told her,

that I really liked her,

that I wanted nothing more than to ask her out,

that I was nothing like the other guys,

that I would never hurt her.

When I held her hand and whispered I love you for the first ever time,

I cried for the first time in front her,

I said it was the first time I had ever felt such a way,

I listened as she said it back,

and for the first time my heart felt a real emotion,

guilt.

Each night before bed, I would make her a promise,

that we would last forever,

that I could picture our future,

that I only ever thought of her.

Lies,

All of it lies,

Every single thing was a lie,

To her,

To her family,

To her friends,

And at the end of the day,

To myself.

Nothing but lies.

But I couldn't stop,

I couldn't admit it,

Even now I tell myself it's all okay,

But it's not.

On our last day together,

one hand was placed on her cheek,

as I promised that long distance would work,

all while the other hand hid behind my back,

with nothing but crossed fingers in my palm.

I never loved the first girl I loved,

But she'll never know the Truth.