Not a Happy Poem

I have never written

A happy poem, I say

As I think of all my episodes

Of depression, anxiety, and heartache.

Wait a second, I have written

A happy poem, I say.

I can recall exactly where

I was sitting when I wrote them.

Just two. Two poems.

One when I realized I loved you.

Two when I wanted to celebrate that love.

Three when I realized I fucked up.

But three was a sad one.

Because three was really

The one where I realized I loved you.

Three was the first time I said

Those three classic words.

But I only wrote them here

Because I was too scared.

Too scared to admit that I hurt you.

Too scared to admit that I was

So afraid of being wrong that I pushed away the one right decision

I ever made.