Three Dastardly Pigs

Three fat pigs with ample bosoms

twirled their parasols behind their tushs

as they flirted with the suave handsome wolf.

They yearned for a favor from him, which

they knew he could give – oh yes!

He oozed animal sexuality from every pore.

As the plump swine danced gaily on pig feet,

Dudley Wolf knew he’d have his pick – oh my!

So he thought of a contest for the wooing sisters -

You must each build a house and I’ll choose

which one I want to move into with you

where we’ll roll in the hay all day long!

Esmeralda Pig was furious at such a task -

it would take too much work and she’d

miss eating chocolate bonbons all day -

after all, she must maintain her curves.

She’d get even, of that she was sure

as she ignored his magnetism, and

did what she must to thwart his commands.

She pleaded with Priscilla and Hortensia,

her chubby sisters, to come up with a plan

They put their heads together in a circle

decided that Esmeralda would construct

a fine house out of straw with a pit

in front of the door where Dudley

would stand when he knocked.

Priscilla would take her sharpened sticks

and place them point up in the hole.

Hortensia would lay a winding brick path

leading to the daunting pit of no return.

It would serve that debonair wolf right!

Dudley Wolf came up to the door,

traipsing the path of red bricks

to the straw house which he planned

to blow down with one smelly breath.

The hole caved in and the wolf went flying

down the pit, was impaled on the sticks.

“This isn’t what I planned,” he screamed

as he lay there dying while porkers watched.

He was dead as a doornail, just a wolf rug

when they took his gold pocket watch and

all his cash and bought armloads of cartons

of chocolate bonbons which enhanced

their voluptuous bodies as they pranced,

looking for a wolf who wouldn’t have

         SO MANY DEMANDS!