Where Did I Go?

One day

I opened my eyes

and glanced down

at my soul

only to find

it wasn't 

there.

My heart had shattered 

and I was floating

through black

⠀⠀listless

⠀⠀⠀and

⠀⠀⠀⠀alone.

It didn't make sense

because I had lived

just as I was told

I smiled at strangers

I went to school

I learned and learned

filled my mind 

with nonsense

that they told me

was important.

I nodded 

I memorized

I knew the presidents by heart

I was quite smart

but then why?

My face had smiled

⠀from numerous pictures

⠀⠀my name printed

⠀on twenty-three trophies

certificates framed 

in every room.

But I look back

and the girl in the pictures

why, that isn't me

⠀⠀

⠀⠀

⠀⠀

why

⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀am I

⠀⠀

so lost?

⠀⠀

Hm.

Now I see.

I am gone

Because all 

I thought about

was to leave

this cruel life

that even death

was better

than

this.

⠀⠀

⠀⠀

and now

I am 

happy?