Broken but repaired

It was a long time ago (if close to a decade qualifies for a long time ago!) He was my second boyfriend but my first true love. Yes. I had learned to understand what "love" was. It wasn't just a fleeting sense of physical attraction but a pure wholesome feeling. The one that can take you to the realm of bliss. 

I really did love him. What's more, he proposed the relationship. I was over the moon but I wanted to bide my time before I said that we were boyfriend-girlfriend. Though sparks had flown the very first day, it was still too soon. We had only interacted for about 15-20 odd days in office and outside of it. So, I wanted to be sure that he was serious about the relationship.

My delay in saying yes, made him feel I was disinterested. By the time I felt I was ready to say yes, he had drifted. However, my feeling were strong. I wanted him back, and back he came after a few months. 

The relationship was full of crests and troughs, probably like other relationships. Though, I did not like his frequent mood-swings and his lack of commitment. I've always felt relationships must be rock-solid. They must stand all the trials and tribulations. It might be too idealistic or romantic a viewpoint, but then it's just how I am. 

So, when we broke up the final time, my heart sank. It sank so deep, I felt I was at the end of the world with nothing to look forward to. My hopes, aspirations, ambition all lost to this one relationship. I was broken. Even suicidal.

Something, stopped me from going the distance with my suicidal instincts though. It was the love for my mother and my family. I saw their broken faces when I tried to commit the felony. 

That was the moment I came back to life. The repairing period was long, almost three years but I took up things that really mattered to me - music, dance, and writing. And so, that broken relationship actually repaired me.