The damn timing’s just never right

Fingers clenching tense shaking mind racing

A thousand thoughts intruding on each other

Chest hollow

Fluttering heart erratic panicky feeling driving

Stakes of anxiety muscles taut

Cracking knuckles sinking flailing

Gasping for air inhaling failure like bitter remedies

Glazed eyes unseeing galaxies of unbidden futures

All imagined in escapist daydreams

Crushing hunched shoulders

Achy neck veins throbbing breathing shallow breaths

Overwhelming sense of finality

Conflicting duality of hope and despair

Rolled together like an expensive joint of reality

She smiles at me

Downcast eyes laugh lines hiding deceiving beliefs in the achievability of it all

The same reckless diving into disbelieving desires of possibilities

Of futures yet to pass but the hope is too strong to ignore

Incessant tapping of feet clicking heels betraying nervous ticks

A shared glance igniting fueling fire of my inevitable inability

To express what I mean

An inarticulate wordsmith dumbstruck by sheer desperation

Lacking faith or courage abandoned plans fall from weak hands

As opportunities knock but the door remained bolted

It’s the same old tale

Boring

A soul destroying passion too late or too early

Just not my time I suppose is the proposed moral of this story