Awkward Spaces...

Somedays it’s just too much.

Trying to live in a space I’ve never seen

I don’t understand it here and it scares me

The space is void and I shake

There are no sharp edges

But there is no one here I recognize either

Nothing is the same, yet it is

Nothing tugs here, and that makes my search feel incomplete

Where are the answers?

I need some answers!!

If I melt into this space...

What happens?

I spent my years in service of others

Looking for my lack

My lacking in what I am…for you

I’ve never been alone

And yet sank into the loneliness

My body doesn’t fit anymore

My spirt wants to soar

My ego is throwing out the trash

So much is happening…

But I’m still in the place

Waiting for something new?

Strangling myself in sameness

Trying to be appropriate

Trying to be like you

But I have never been like you

I can’t pretend anymore

I need to leap!

And I have no idea what that means

I need to go and seek

I need to write and meet kindness

I need to put my feet in the water

And I want to dance…wildly and freely

I will to be graceful in my gestures

And loving in my spirit

I’d like to take a ride with my new friend

Her name is integrity

And she’s got my back.

What do I do now?

Three deep breaths...

and release...