On The Subject of Me

I've had too many days when I felt nothing went as in my head

Where the importance of little victories mattered so little

That I could have it and it would leave as fast as it came

The truth is

I could never be in reality what I am at night in dreams

I stay a man of average nature, of average ambition

Planning out my little victories each and every day 

While my other side remains balloon-headed

Always wrongfully

Wanting the wheel of miracles to find me

To fulfill my right to exist is my reason for existence

Having purpose is the only thing that keeps me alive

And I get it any way I can, from any one that will give

And I get addicted

To the hope that it will make me feel as I do away from life

Want and fears get in the way of my desire-made happiness

Divorcing what I could have and making it out of my limits

Until there's no longer a reason to reach pass what I have

And I'm left to be this

One that could've been but now just is and forever could never be