june 17

I'm almost too tired to write the words

But I have questions that need to be heard

Was I not your friend?

Did what we had deserve such a bitter end?

Wasn't it us who looked at the stars?

I swear it was us together in that car.

I can't imagine that I ever cross your mind,

I'm invisible to you, or maybe you're blind

Yet you keep finding me and letting me know

That you're wholly content with letting me go

No matter how you I evade

I'm always reminded of the love we made

But it wasn't love, no it couldn't have been

And it wasn't platonic, I can tell I'm not your friend

I suppose you never knew me or paid attention

Maybe you just liked my affection

How my eyes lit up when you laughed with me

And how fast my heart beat so nervously

At the touch of your hand

You made me feel like a man

The kind of man I want to be

Not the image proposed by society

A man who can be tender, emotional, and proud

A man who can love and shout it out loud

But maybe it was just a mistake of your youth

Or maybe your body doesn't tell the truth

And now, again, I've said too much

The reality is I still long for your touch

But with each passing day it becomes clearer

You never intended to place me any nearer

To your heart which you so dutifully protect

You eradicated me, a virus which would infect

Your sense of self and the message you send

It's clear to me now that I was never your friend