Assholes

Three ducks are crashing around violently on the water. Two males, lunging repeatedly at one female, lunging away. Their conversation goes like this:

Her: LEAVE ME ALONE

Them: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Her: LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE

Them: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Her: DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT

She launches herself into the air and flies off. After a brief squabble, the males take off after her, all three screaming at each other. Moments later all three come crashing down again, not far from where they took off. Their conversation resumes. Then she gets away, for a little while. Confused, the males turn on each other. Their conversation goes like this:

Him: YOU SUCK

Him2: YOU SUCK

Him: YOU SUCK

Him2: YOU SUCK SUCK SUCK

Him: FUCK YOU

Him2: FUCK YOU I’M GONNA FUCK YOU UP

They catch sight of her again. Still fighting, they whack, stomp, and peck each other, screaming, in their rush to descend upon her again. Their conversation resumes:

Her: GUYS SERIOUSLY

Them: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Her: I’M FUCKING STARVING HERE

Them: NOT RELEVANT

Her: SHIT FUCK FUCKITY LEAVE ME THE FUCKING FUCK ALONE YOU FUCKS

Them: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

And I think:

Everything is like this.