How Are you?

Hey, how are you?

Okay. I'm doing okay. How about you?

I don't hear your response.

I'm okay. I tell myself

I'm okay. And saying out loud

that I'm okay

makes me wonder

if I am

okay.

Every moment of every day

Is a struggle to feel "okay."

And just when I get caught up in not realizing

I'm not not okay

someone asks me how I'm doing

and I remember

again, each moment is

an assessment

of my body:

Do I feel dizzy?

of my thoughts:

Where am I going?

and to keep my heart from beating out of my chest

I grip my fingers into my things,

inhale sharply

and hold my breath,

widen my eyes and focus

on a distant object while I tell myself

that I am going to be okay.

How about you?