Reassurance

I am constantly reassuring myself that its all worth it; but then again, is it?

The camera loves me, the audience roars with acceptance and love.

The mirror portrays a different story.

The story of an unknown entity struggling through every day.

I will never understand why others praise me and hold me so high.

I am not perfect, I am not beautiful, I am no one.

Everyday I fight, I scream and curse my reflection.

Who is this stranger I encounter every day.

What is this strange sense of displacement I feel every ticking minute.

I am at war, a never-ending battle for a victory I don't want.

Why should I fight for a place I don't deserve, a throne I am unworthy of.

I want to know why I feel this way, why I relentlessly misunderstand myself.

I am treading on broken ice, the slightest misstep will send me plunging underneath.  

That sound, there it is again.

What is that noise? Howling, Barking, Whimpering?

Is that me?