The 5 Stages

1. Before I even knew it

You were gone.

The warmth of the sunshine you brought to my life

Turned into a frozen wasteland

And I felt nothing.

The sudden shock of your absence rendered me numb.

Until I was forced to drown in it.

2. In time, the cold thawed.

And the pain began.

Hot daggers through my heart,

Holes ripped in my chest,

As the last shreds of hope and denial washed away with my tears.

Red-hot fury at the injustice coating my thoughts with its acid bite.

I thought the rage made me strong,

But it broke me down.

3. I begged for your return.

Pleaded, cried, bargained.

Nothing worked.

And that’s when I was forced to accept that nothing would.

4. Weeks and months of misery,

Pain with every breath,

Torture with every memory,

Anguish in every quiet moment.

Every thought was an arrow through my heart.

Misery became my companion,

Alcohol, my friend.

For alcohol was the only one who could make misery bearable.

5. Eventually, the hole in my chest began to heal,

Though I had been convinced it never would,

And I began to feel whole again.

I could breathe without pain

And even smile without bitterness.

Although your loss still pains me,

I hope someday to look on your picture,

And smile without tears.