I’ve Spent My Nights Dreaming

I've spent my nights dreaming

of worlds. People. Places

that are not lodged firmly

within the comfortable confines

of my computer chair.

I've spent my nights thinking

of circumstances and reactions

of individuals I'd never want to be.

Characters that live and breathe

and want and love and feel.

Beings with aspirations

and dreams.

I've spent my nights writing

stories that are seen by

only one other,

and while the `other' changes,

I do not.

I am the constant driver of

misery and hope and happiness

and every other feeling.

I've spent my nights realizing

that I have to spend my nights

on something.

That it's telling how I'd rather

spend it in my head through text.

That I'd rather live vicarious.

I've spent my nights as a god

of loss. A god of a new dawn.

A god of constant change.

And I've found through pen

and text

that I make a terrible deity.