PostsChallengesPortalsAuthorsBooks
Sign Up
Log In
Posts
Challenges
Portals
Authors
Books
beta
Sign Up
Search
Challenge
CotW #63: Take a much-loved Disney story, twist it into an adult, kick-in-the-gut tale. Poetry or Prose. The most eloquent, elegant, entertaining entry, ascertained by Prose, earns $100 and stays atop the Spotlight shelf for six straight days. Feel free to invite friends, distant family, even strange acquaintances to play this challenge with you anonymously. Please use #twistedtales for sharing online. Now lights, camera, fiction.
Profile avatar image for Harry_Situation
Harry_Situation

Don Trump

Inside the White House.

Donald Trump: 

How dare they reject my genius healthcare plan. I don't know what their problems is. I think it's rigged. There's obviously some sort of wiretapping going on.

Steve Bannon:

I know. Ridiculous, right?

Donald Trump:

I'm gonna tweet how wrong they are.

Steve Bannon:

Don't do that... and you just did that.

Donald Trump:

Maybe everyone in the world is right. I'm a joke.

Steve Bannon: 

You? A joke? Never! Donny boy, you've got to pull yourself together.

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Don Trump

Hanging so low by the ropes

You're such a brilliant man, Don Trump

So don't you listen to those dopes

There's no man that'll make America great again

You're featured on the cover of Time

Everyone wants to drop and go down on you

And now I break out into rhyme

Nooooooooo oooooone's

Wise like Don Trump

No one's got thighs like Don Trump

No one's hands are as big as Don Trump's

For there's no man in the whole country

Perfectly orange on each spot

You can always ask Mike, Paul, & Vlady

And they'll tell you whose back they've got

Chorus:

Nooooooooo oooooone's

Got riches like Don Trump

No one bitches like Don Trump

No one's worth billions like Don Trump

Donald Trump:

As a business man, yes, I'm intimidating

Chorus:

Wow, what a prez, that Don Trump

Go build that wall

Each bit by bit

Steve Bannon:

Don Trump is the best,

Everyone else can eat shit

Chorus:

Nooooooooo oooooone

Argues like Don Trump

No one starts fights like Don Trump

In a farting match, no one stinks like Don Trump

For there's no one in town that sprays

Donald Trump:

So much spray so I'm tan as a fool

Mike Pence:

He lied to the blacks and the gays

Donald Trump: 

That's true, and also my hair looks very cool

Chorus:

No one hits like Don Trump

Or spits racism like Don Trump

Betsy DeVos:

On Twitter, Nobody out tweets like Don Trump

Donald Trump: 

I am indeed very literated. #thatisaword #reallysmart

Chorus: 

That's another win for Don Trump

Donald Trump: 

When I was on The Apprentice, I became more famous

Owning at least 50 new cars

And now that I'm president, I have lots of dough

So now I can buy Madagascar

Chorus:

Why?

Donald Trump:

Doesn't matter. Keep singing.

Chorus:

Nooooooooo oooooone

Falsely accuses like Don Trump

No one harasses women like Don Trump

Steve Bannon:

Then goes to the camera calling fake news like Don Trump.

Donald Trump: 

I've got dollar signs in all of my paintings.

Neo Nazis: 

Salute him again!

KKK: 

He's the man among men

Rednecks:

He won the voting floor.

Westboro Baptist Church: 

He's the hero we prayed for.

Chorus:

He's the enemy of the press

Don't you know? Can't you guess?

Ask his fans that we've paid off

He's the one guy in town 

Whose got America bent down

Steve Bannon: 

And his name is D-O-N... I just occurred to me that I honestly don't know how to spell his full name because I'm more for spending money on weapons and defense rather than our educational system. But you know who I'm talking about, right?

Don Truuuuuuuuuuump