I’ve Made It Too Far

I never thought that I would make it this far in my life. Figured I'd be long dead before I ever reached the age of 18, so I never started to plan out or think about what I was going to do with my life.

Now I'm a couple months away from the ripe old age of 18, and I'm terrified. I have no idea what I am going to do with myself.

It's either I go to college, or I don't have a place to live according to my mother. So it looks like college is a necessity. But I haven't applied anywhere. And it's already April. So I'm feeling left out and left behind as all of my friends already know exactly what they are going to do with their lives.

I felt as though I had been doing okay, happy enough and not wanting to die too badly. Until now.

I'm panicking..freaking out that I am still alive. Not something you hear every day.

And now I've made it this far, and I wish I never had, because death stills seems like a much better option to me.