Pork Chops

I watched the ravenous pigs viciously attack the body of my dearly departed husband. It only took about eight minutes for the pigs, who hadn’t eaten in four days, to completely polish off his entire two hundred pound body, even the bones!

I had used a large sledge hammer to pound his head into bloody pieces after I crept up to him in our barn. I knew I had to drag him out before there was too much blood soaking into the hay. I didn’t really have it well planned but I had had enough of his abuse. We lived way out in the country with no witnesses to the black eyes and cut lips that I suffered at his hands. The emotional indignities that he heaped upon my suffering soul were even worse. “You stupid bitch!” he screamed, “You’re good for nothing. You don’t even have my dinner ready!”

I thought I would have to remove bits of his body from the pig pen but the pigs left no traces of their carnage. I took a rake and stirred up the muck just to make sure.

No one seemed to miss him much. I certainly didn’t. I just went about my business of raising pigs, slaughtering them and taking them to market. When the other farmers asked where Buster was, I just said, “That pig, he ran off with another woman and I haven’t seen him since!”

I have to admit that I had second thoughts about the way I disposed of him. I probably should have just ground him up and sold his meat at the farmers’ market. They say that human meat tastes just like pork!