SHUT UP

Anxiety coursing through my veins like snake poison

Uncontainable

The harder I try to repress it the more forceful it comes

It’s ebbing rage creeping up on me

Subtle as a brick in the face

Consuming

The nervous tap of my foot

Hand clenching into fist

Fingernails biting into palm

Pent-up energy begging to be released

The urge to scream nearly overwhelming

And every word you say feeds it more

Cracking knuckles, and hands and fists

Clenching

Unclenching

Clenching

Unclenching

Foot tapping and knuckles still cracking

Head bobbing and the sound of your voice

Raking on my nerves like the sound of nails on a chalkboard

But worse

Because you won’t shut up

Want to punch you, kick you

Pick you up and throw you down a flight of stairs

Do anything to shut you up

The primal need to yell, to scream

To expel some kind of angry noise from my throat

Approaching the breaking point now

And for some fucking reason you still won’t shut up!

The only thing left to do is let it all out

Scream at the top of my lungs

Call you names

Bring into question the legitimacy of your birth

And say things about your mother that would horrify me if she heard

And as I stand there, energy spent and all my pent-up frustrations

Heaped onto you

Tears falling down your face

Anguish written in your eyes

The slight trembling of your chin

I want to feel bad, remorseful

Guilty that I’ve hurt you

But all I can feel is relief

Contentment

Because you’ve finally

Finally

Shut up