Disney Did the Dirty

Testing the waters,

        I’m married to a rabbit

        but I’m a human cartoon,

        he’s the one who should

        breed like a rabbit soon.

I was drawn to be

        voluptuous and sexy

        by Disney cartoonists

        and they purposely forgot

        to draw on my undies.

But, alas, my Roger

        uses Viagra -

       Roger can’t get it up

       and all my curves

       are going to waste.

blowing in the wind

       with nary a taste

       and I am horny

       and unfulfilled.

In other words,

       I swipe at dry crumbs

       He’s unable to do

       what rabbits should do.

I flail and curse at

       my open heart

       and open legs

       as I turn bright red

       on center stage.

Men in audience

       stare back at me.

       I jump into bed

       with another stud,

       part-owner of town

       where I reside.

He’s not that hot,

        but he will do

        until I find

        a replacement man.

I smooth my hands

        over my svelte body

        and notice a bump

        crowding my tummy.

Dr. Doolittle proclaims,

        "Congratulations, Jessica,

        you’re having a litter,”

        as I lie spread eagled

        in a paper gown.

How can I have a litter?

         I’m not a bunny

         and it’s not my honey’s.

I slink back home

        to confess to Roger

        but he has been

        arrested for killing

        my paramour.

I cry to myself,

        it’s all my fault

        he didn’t want

        to do such a

        drastic thing.

But I was wrong

        Roger didn’t do it!

        Judge Sicko,

        deranged psychopath,

        had vowed

        to destroy Roger.

Judge’s goggle eyes

        had focused on me,

        for his turn

        at a tryst.

I meet Judge Sicko

        for a drinkie poo

        and poison his drink,

        swirling it

        with my little finger,

        then leave the bar.

Roger is released

        says he’ll accept

        my litter so

        I leave whole pack

        of baby bunnies

        with him and sashay

        undulating hips

        on my journey

        to find a

         hard lover,

fully aware that

        a good lover

        is hard to find

        but a hard lover

        is good to find.

After all, a sexy

        cartoon character

        takes what she

        can get before

        it’s too late, baby,

         it’s too late!

Why, oh why,

        did imagination

        of Disney

        make me this way?

        I really can’t help

       going astray.