stomachache

insecurity is a thick sense of fear the color of chartreuse running through my veins instead of blood. I'm afraid to speak because I'm scared that it will stream out of my mouth in the form of defensiveness, over nothing. I'm afraid to sit for too long or for not long enough, without people thinking "what's up with her?" The chartreuse shoves its way into my mind, even if it's over fear of sneezing, because I just sneezed a second ago and don't want to draw attention to myself. I think, you're too old for this. Surely, by now you shouldn't feel this way. But, the color, thick and blinding, follows me like fog.

x

I'm dreading a lot of stuff right now.

Poppy.