These are the words.

These are the words that ceased to flow

When I fell to my knees and I told you "don't go"

When you turned around with the dust in my face

And I spent all those nights wanting to be erased

These are those words I couldn't find in past years

When they spat in my face and I couldn't dry tears

And I fell in this ditch I'm still trapped in

Because every day and every night I feel the weight of my sin

These are the phrases I poured out to the Lord

When I couldn't feel Him there, afraid He didn't hear words

That I sung and I yelled till I was so numb

Until, under false premises, I was told I had won

In this war that I fought when they told me I ought

To just get over him

Well it's not that easy when somebody dies

So I replaced isolation with words and this is how I fly

Or at least try

To get someone to hear me because I'm so broken

These are the words I've spoken

And I wonder if they'll ever be enough

To quench this thirst for someone to love

To fill that hole

Covering my soul

They say it's God, but don't they know I've tried

I've tried and I've tried to go to Heaven when I die

To just be perfect, to feel Him here with me

But I don't, and I don't, and I'm scared of this sea

Of words that keep spouting from my lips

I'm afraid to be sick

And so afraid of these words

But

Here they are

These are the words I whisper to the silence

Laying in bed, surrounded by darkness

These words I claim to be mine, but they aren't

They're stolen from the space in the holes in my heart.