Who I Am.

I had a thought

It crossed my mind

It made me question

What I've done in my time.

It's a question of coward

It's a question of strength

It's a question of who I am

For fuck's sake.

Faced with great tragedy

The truth has shown

What is inside of me

And it's time to own.

What I thought I had built

Was a wall of steel

A cage of iron

A heart that could heal

But I have found

That this may not be

And what I'm about to say

May ruin me.

For all of my life

I have taken pride

In what I could quit

And leave behind.

I'd burn the bridges,

And slam the doors,

I wouldn't even flinch

At the idea of no more.

But a different light shows

This strength may not be

The idea I've clenched to

It may just be weak.

Leaving didn't start off easy

But it's grown to be a crutch

I bail in a moment of panic

When things appear to be too much.

Maybe it's not worth the fight

For fighting's too much work

I'm starting to realize

I leave to void being hurt.

I'm not sure what this makes me

And I doubt I'll ever change

I bail, I quit, I ghost, I leave

Grasping at nothing to keep me sane.