Bittersweet Pretending

Do you like me?

My hand hovered over the phone as I internally debated sending the message that I knew I wanted answered.

Three dots inched across the screen and a text was delivered to me.

Melanie just tell me what's on your mind.

My face without my permission forced a half-smile at the message. She'd always said that. She always sent that text when she was worried about me.

I rapidly deleted the message I was so ready to send and instead wrote something else.

I think I like someone...Rosaline...

I paced around the room clutching my cell phone in anticipation. What would she say? Did she know? If she did know was she disgusted with me? A bing of my ringtone awoke me from my thoughts.

Really? Who is it? Is it the new boy Chance? I thought he was pretty cute too! You don't need to be worried about liking someone haha.

Concerned I bit my lip. She didn't know. She didn't realize...but do I tell her? Do I really want to risk my friendship with her that way?

No one really important I doubt you know them lol.

I chose to lie.

Melaniiieeee I'm your best friendddd righttt? Don't I , the most gorgeous princess of Unicorn Kingdom (lol), deserve the right to know who you like? I won't judge you ya knowww even if it's that really creepy guy Lane I think in our Honors English?

Hiding it and internally pushing it deep down is the way to go right? That way I don't need to risk losing her, our friendship, or any of her thoughts about me. I can put up a facade...I can reject it...

I don't want to lose my best friend just because I want something more. A bittersweet smile crossed my face as I replied with a lie.

Haha true...you guessed it the first time lol I like the new kid Chance, I thought he was pretty cute...

I pushed bile down my throat at the thought of even kissing a guy and decided to pretend I was straight for Rosaline.