looking at myself in the mirror

pulling apart myself 

tearing at my confidence 

fucked up by reality 

drowning in my sorrow 

broken down and loaded with unwanted thoughts of living 

walls of the past caving in 

hollow shallow heart 

knives sharping daggers 

body in fetal position

nails  piercing my conscience

ghost apart of my shadows 

hands arthritic and bent up 

constant plans screwed up hope 

faith mythical in believing in god will save me from going under 

two fingers down the throat puking up the truth 

spewing cutlets of facts 

no pretty words to cover up these opinions 

only the truth matters 

I am empty inside 

I don´t feel alive 

no I am picking myself apart 

and trying to pick up my heart 

my past breaks me 

my present revives me 

no matter how I began this story it ends the same 

I am broken and loaded with pain