This Is How I Forget To Feel

You are not here

You are gone

Still

You are not coming back

And I won't accept that yet

Can't

You took the better part of me with you

When you left

And now that I'm all alone

There's no escaping

None

I pretend that I'm still here-

That I can breathe, dance, talk

Think

But I can't, not really, so I

Replace all of my thoughts with something

Numb

Until I'm only running on adrenaline and instinct

Feelings, conflicts, buried so deep that I'm a

Shell

Reason and drive have left me in

The maze that is grief, I'm

Lost

I can't go back the way I came

So I sluggishly put one foot in front of the other

Forward

The pain of losing you, you my greatest love

This is what I'll do, I'll forget to

Feel