Thanatos

The first time I walked upon train tracks, I felt like a train

No matter how loud, heavy and visible I appeared

People pretended not to see me

They saw animals on the road

Bugs under their shoes

Still nothing

What a lonely life

I don’t remember having friends, I’m not sure what thats like

However

I’d rather bear this burden alone

Best to be alone and one

Two would be twice as horrible

Imagining someone to talk to, share the sights and the sadness

I think, what if they could no longer go on

I’ve been on my own all my life as much as I can conceive of it

Who would even want to wander with me

I have no conversation, they’d at least expect wisdom

Someone would wonder why I couldn’t provide such illustrious sentiments and ideas of what I’ve seen

Yes, best to be alone

Because for that, I have no answer for what I do

I just keep going, it is my purpose

Although I am constantly in presence

It is rare I am engaged

When one beckons me

It is not my job to come

It is my job to wait

Waiting all the time

Alone

One day, I met a man

Old like the others I usually find

He said, “It’s nice to see you. I believe you met my wife last month.”

I smiled, his wife was lovely. Old like him but light like a child.

I saw them walking together for years until she came alone

He seemed like someone I could actually talk to

I asked him, “Why does everyone ignore me?”

he glanced around one last time,

and assured me I shouldn’t be offended, he said:

“Nobody wants to die.”