Someday, Maybe

Behold, a Lady... something I shall never be

Too fancy, refined, PROPER for crazy me

I change out of my work dress, soon as I can

Sweatpants, no bra, (I kinda look like a man!)

Maybe a chick- nah, too old for that label

A gal? A lass?  Wait, that sounds like a fable!

But, can't be a girl- grey hairs, roots deny

Guess my tresses need more blond hair dye

Suppressing swear words all day at my school

I think, means "Lady"? not me, I'm too cool

Home to my daughter, sarcastic like her mom

She's no lady, either, a chic with teen "wisdom"

Yup, too much attitude to be "Lady" defined

I wear too little makeup, drink too much wine

My parents may have wished a lady I'd act like

Instead, I run, workout, go for a frequent hike

Nope, not me.  Definitely, definitely not a lady

But, maybe- if I cross my legs, sit demurely

If I banish my sweats, forego my flannels

Maybe then, grace and virtue I can channel

Perhaps, I can limit my swearing, keep quiet

Stifle opinions when men talk of matters politic

Oh, thank God I'm not A LADY TO BEHOLD

Suppressing my opinions?  I'm just too damn old!!