The Castle

I am standing in a throne room

With fragile walls made of conflicts and dark emotions

Here the guilt and the ineptitude weigh so heavily on me

That I am forced prostrate on the floor

Sobbing, screaming, begging for forgiveness

Staring into the face of my twin protectors

My twin oppressors

They sit on the same throne, intertwined, curled around each other like the serpentine beasts they are

Obsession laughs when my screams are so loud they shake the walls

Anxiety smiles, pleased, when all I have left to offer are my doubts (certainties) as tribute to the twisted crowns

And they both slither onto me and cover me drown me suffocate me

When all I have left to say is "I'm sorry" and "I tried"

They whisper to me that it will never happen again

Obsession shows me the proof as many times as I can handle

Anxiety reassures me that my worst nightmares will indeed come true and they will solve everything

Quietly behind my back, they gesture with their dripping tails to their servants Depression and Old Habits and order them to fortify the castle walls, make them unbreakable

It takes all I have to throw their grimy, well-worn bodies off of me and to rip a hole in the wall before they have the chance to chain it board it brick it make it impassable

It is a tiring task, indeed