Writer For Hire

Tom is sitting at his computer. He types, 'Do you know why Barbies' hands are shaped like that? So she can read books. She can shake hands. She can open cans with those hands. She can hold the crime scene tape and a garden hose. Yes Barbie can gouge a liver out and clear a windshield. Just think of the hands of Barbie.' Tom stops for a moment. He is to be writing for a roast of the Mattel founders tomorrow. He considers, and well it is a roast. He writes some more. 'I heard Ken said to the three founders, "Barbie just needs to bring those fingers around a little bit Mr. Handler!" Tom leans back. He has another project. He'll give this one a rest.

Tom's other assignment is some stand up material for The Comedy Store. He writes, 'The other day I was at dog beach. I think it's cool how they provide receptacles for dog shit. Who empties  those things anyway. The owners ignore all the butt sniffing. They've been doing so much of that at work I guess they figure it's the dog's turn. One of the dogs had corn rows..........everywhere.......and somehow he had a freakin barbie doll hanging on to a dingleberry.