Insecurities

Insecurities ravage me

like a predator upon its’ prey.

Logic has no place here,

for the mind doth play its’ games.

I do my best to argue,

but pleas falls upon deaf ears.

Instead I suffer within the silence,

waiting for monsters to make the kill.

I do not wish to listen.

I do not wish to speak.

I do not wish to live within

these moments of the weak.

Still the moments haunt me

the laughter that is not mine.

Knowing for a second,

you once had what is now my prize.

History repeating, or so I believe.

Pelting doubts, they haunt me,

Doing everything to deceive.

I do not wish to worry.

I do not wish to cry.

I do not wish to waver,

convictions waining,

with the passing of time.

Forgive my imperfections

they are but bittersweet.

A canvas predetermined,

measured by the meek.

I know not how to conquer,

these feelings of repeat.

I do not wish to feel.

I do not wish to seek.

I only wish to be,

a victim of defeat.