Resolution

This year I sit

Thinking about the year.

What do I change,

Or fix, or finish.

What about me is wrong?

An hour later,

The list is frightening.

So, I start another list.

What about me is right,

Or good, or satisfying.

I find myself still thinking.

The ink from my pen

Soaking a bloody blue hole,

The tip still pausing,

Nothing to show by "1."

Finally I give up,

Tear both list apart.

My resolution is mad.

This year,

This is the year I will learn.

I am going to learn to love myself.

It will be slow,

It will be hard,

It may even hurt.

But, by this time,

A year from now,

The goal is clear.

The bloody blue hole,

It will be on the first list. 

With little steps, 

I will drown the list of bad,

And fill my heart 

With an endless list of love.