Message in a bottle

I'm huddled in that dark corner again

Arms clinging to my knees

"I don't want this" 

I whisper aloud to no one

I know it's coming

It happens time after time

No matter how good life is

No matter how hard I try

You physically abuse me

Leave me sprawled about 

Weak to the point of sickness

My head screaming with pain

You manipulate me 

Generate fear of life without you

Tell me how good I have it

Spread lies of the fun we have together

In reality

You've fucked my emotions up

I don't know how I'm supposed 

To feel when I don't have you

I don't want you in my life 

I don't want anything to do with you

Yet your presence looms over me

And beckons again 

Tears stain my cheekbones

As I drop my head in my hands

Then I grab you by the neck

And drink away the pain